He is very tender-hearted and really doesn't have a mean bone in his body. That's one of the greatest attributes he can have, in my opinion. But the other night, he was being particularly clingy. Kendall finally crawled into his Papa's lap and was watching "Looney Tunes". In the cartoon there was a character with a baby. When he saw that, all of sudden he started crying. Big, loud sobs coming from this little body. I got him consoled and helped him gather himself, only to have him breakdown again when I was tucking him into bed. I posted on Facebook that we all have our moments and that night was Kendall's. I can't understand how grief effects him, but as his Momma, I hate to see him cry and hurt.
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I accomplished something this morning!! I jogged a half mile in the pool!! Woo Hoo!! I ALSO swam a quarter of a mile!! Go Me!! I may pay for it tomorrow, but for the moment I'm enjoying it. I'm getting very frustrated, though. The scale has stopped moving--AGAIN! I report to the IVF doctor in a few short weeks and I'm no where near where I wanted to be. I've lost and I feel good about that, but I need to be so much closer to my goal than this.
I've spoken with a few ladies who have been through IVF and even talked with one who used the same facility. They were told the same thing--you need to lose weight. They each had a goal and none of them got there. One is like myself, a bigger girl, and she was able to proceed with her first round of IVF. The doctor talked with her about the results with a lower BMI, but she felt comfortable enough with where she was to move forward. She now has a set of healthy, 8-year old twins from her first round. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we have the same success and we can go ahead and do this.
I feel like if I could lose another 10 pounds by our date, I'll be good. That's two pounds a week until we're there. I can do this, but in the mean time, I do want to SCREAM!!
Kathy
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