Late Update!

I've been rather MIA as of lately.  The "sickies" moved into our home and decided to camp out for a few weeks.  It seems we passed it around and everyone got a taste.  I was lucky (sarcasm) to have it twice.  The second episode required not-one, but three visits to see a doctor.  The first visit was to an after-hours clinic.  Diagnosis:  bronchitis.   The next morning I woke up and had been coughing up blood through the night.  Decided I better have confirmation that it was just bronchitis and something more serious.  Diagnosis that visit:  confirmation of bronchitis and a bleeding sore in the back of my throat.  Continued the antibiotics and then followed up with my regular doctor later in the week.  Through this mess, I started getting something that felt like cotton mouth.  I had experienced it before and knew that it was thrush.  Regular doctor confirmed, that, yes, I did have thrush.  A few more drugs to combat the problem.

So, with nearly a week of a sore throat and unable to eat much of anything, I lost 11 pounds!!  Not the way I would suggest to anyone to lose weight, but it helped to make a nasty week a little better.

Today was the day that I called the IVF doctor to schedule my tests and next appointment.  April 25!!  As of today, that is 65 days away!!  That means that in 65 days we'll be starting the process of in-vitro fertilization.  This first visit is all my initial blood tests, an ultrasound and the visit with the doctor to let us know which protocol we will start.  It seems very surreal.  This is something we want, but at the same time it's also very overwhelming.  I still have days (today being one of them) that I am filled with worry about my living child and his safety.  I know he is in a safe place with people that would lay down their life to protect him, but the fear for his life and the life of future children, invades my mind and my senses to a point that it's hard to concentrate and think.  I know that those 9 months of pregnancy will be filled with fear over every twinge, every ache, every slight hint of a problem.  I'll continue to worry until that baby is safe in my arms and we are headed home.  And then new worries come.  I guess that as a mother that's part of our DNA, but for me, sometime it gets to be too much for me to handle. 

So I start my countdown!  65......  ...:::  BREATHE  :::...    ...:::  BREATHE  :::... (repeat)

---Kathy