Oh. My. Word.

So I feel like I've been non-existent for some time.  Life has been pretty busy.  Kendall has had basketball and baseball.  The spring months meant the hubby started putting in long hours.  Summer for me means LOTS of new hires and longer days.  Through all of that, we have managed to continue on our IVF path.

We've met with the doctor several times since my last post.  We had a baseline ultrasound at the beginning of my last cycle.  The ultrasound tech could only visualize 3-4 follicles and that concerned the doctor.  So why I was there for a SHG, he did a repeat ultrasound and found more.  Like 10-12 per ovary.  Much better!!  I've had more blood drawn than I can shake a stick at.  After showing that I had lost a bit more weight, the doctor was ready to move forward.  (YA!)

Hubby and I traveled to Memphis on Monday for a long day.  We met with the ansethiologist.  Did our injection training and learned about all our medications.  More blood drawn and finally a mock transfer.  I start injections a week from Friday with an anticipated egg retrival on June 24!!  It's REAL!!  VERY REAL!!

I'm excited!  This is such a great time in the life of our family.  The doctor did increase our odds of twins to 30%.  I guess we really have consider that--and we have and we're OK.  Whatever God blesses us with, we will cherish and love.

But OH. MY. WORD.  The medicine list they gave.  This is just a sampling...  Ganirelix, Doxycycline, Prednisone, Follistim, Menopur, hCG, Crinone...and the list goes on.  My hubby had to learn how to give me a shot on my hip.  There is a large mixing needle and the smaller injection needle.  He's threatened, more than once, to using the mixing needle.  I may kill him before this whole process is over.  Not really.....well, maybe.  Time will tell.

Been in lots of prayer over this process.  You think conceiving naturally is just allowing things to happen.  You may time and try to get things right, but it's still almost an "accident" when it happens.  There are no accidents with IVF.  NONE.  You know very well what is happening and what your body is going through.  And there really isn't ever that question mark of "is this going to work?"  At least not for us.  With our proven fertility, we believe wholeheartedly that this will work and that we will be pregnant.  The big question for us is "How many?"

So in closing....  I'm excited, scared, depressed, a little sad.  Excited that we have finally made it to this point.  Scared because I'm still "sure" what to expect.  Depressed and sad because I still miss my Tyler.  All this pales in comparison to losing him and even having to go through this madness.  But I know God's plans are so much higher than ours and I am choosing to trust Him.  So I place all my emotions and feelings at His feet and leave them there.  I choose (at least for today) to not pick them back up.  It's hard to leave them, but I know that at His feet they are not weighing on my shoulders.


Love...  Kathy